Voyeur

I just finished watching my taped lesson from the June summer school. While it wasn't supremely horrible, there are many things I need to work on before school starts in August.

Let's start with the least important- my wardrobe. A orange-red dress with a black sweater? What was I thinking? I definitely need to look more professional, and also need to ditch the heels that click every time I take a step - too distracting. Also, even if the camera does add ten pounds, I could stand to make it to the gym a little more often. I have a strange habit of smoothing my hair behind my left ear- it's a very noticeable tic, and I think I did it about fifty times during my lesson. Also, my arms are really long.

On to the more interesting, less narcissistic observations. I am clearly comfortable in front of the class; for the most part I speak slowly and appear genuinely excited about the material I'm teaching. I gesture relatively well, repeat directions and unfamiliar words, and am fairly capable when it comes to the pacing of the class. I can usually turn around a non-answer into something helpful, and I have an interesting tendency to give little mini-lessons on writers, grammar, or whatever comes to mind. These things are good.

That said, I could do to channel a little more of the stern schoolmarm- I always have this half smile on my face, even when students refuse to participate. I let people off the hook too easily, and then smiled at them as if I have infringed upon them. When I gave my only detention to someone who was sleeping, I smiled at him as I said, "See me after class, please." When questioning the class, I pause only for a second or two before I resort to answering the question myself (as I predicted). I follow almost every explanation of an answer with the rhetorically annoying, affirmation-seeking right? right? which I used to abhor in my teachers. I don't know how to work the overhead, I make ridiculous references that no one except the other teachers in the room will recognize (case in point- "There is a house...in New Orleans") and sometimes I mumbled to myself and then laughed quietly.

Ultimately, this was good for me to see, however painful. Next session, and certainly in the fall, I will try to be as excited about the subject while being less indulgent. And maybe I will abstain from the fried chicken for a while...